Because I refuse to believe that I came out of the womb as anything but a fifteen-year old...

As with most girls my age, I was an avid Babysitter's Club reader back in the day. I always longed to be fashionable like Claudia was, but envied Mary Anne, who at the ripe old age of 12, demonstrated a real stability in her relationship with Logan. And then there were Stacey and Dawn, the New Yorker and California girl, always sounding exotic, what with their vegetarianism and diabetes.

I think it would be a fair assessment to say that I earned 98% of my income from the age of 11 to 18 as a babysitter, lugging my own "Kid Kit" to each family's house which was stocked with watercolor paints and animal figurines. Overall, babysitting was a good job for me because it paid pretty well and I felt comfortable around the kids. Though admittedly, whenever I was sitting for a kid under the age of two, I'd do periodic checks to make sure the baby was still breathing. I don't know where that paranoia came from; perhaps one too many 20/20 episodes.

Today after work I stopped by a French woman's house, one who I became friendly with the last time I lived in New York. I used to babysit her three boys and now she has added a girl to the mix. While I was there, her new babysitter rang the doorbell; she was there to take care of the kids for the evening. When she opened the door, I almost fell off my chair. A CHILD had arrived to take care of four children. "Holy GOD," I thought to myself, "This canNOT be legal!"

Turns out the girl was fourteen years old; I couldn't get over how young and fragile she seemed, how her tiny hands were going to do things like change a diaper or cook dinner for five. On the other hand, at her age, I'd been a 3-year veteran in the business. I can't believe that I was ever that young but this is an obvious delusion.

And now I realize that there's just a host of problems awaiting me when I get to the point of hiring someone to watch my future children. Like finding a babysitter who looks responsible, minimum age 45.